Sunday, December 8, 2013

I'm Back!

I know, I know. I said my New Year's resolution was to update my blog every week. Apparently, I lied. Mea culpa, mea culpa, I am the worst blogger ever. But I'm back now, with a brand new post, and (if all goes well) I should be coming back every Sunday. So, let's kick off what will hopefully be a new season of productivity with...

(if Edgar Allen Poe had been an eight-months pregnant mother of two)

Based on actual events

Once upon a day so dreary, my pregnant self was sore and weary
So my husband took on kids and chores.
But upstairs as I lay napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of a child gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some toddler," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber-
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was nearly to September
I'd been pregnant for forever, since the distant days of yore.
Eagerly I wished my due date, vainly sought to instigate-
From books and websites of midwifery lore-
My labor, but results were poor-
I could not dilate any more.

And the tiny feet that I heard patting just outside upon the matting
Thrilled me- filled me with a terror mothers all have known before.
So that now to still the beating of my heart, I lay repeating
"'Tis some toddler entreating entrance at my chamber door-
But with no answer soon they will forsake my chamber door.
That it is, and nothing more."

Presently, my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
"Child," I said, "I love you, but your patience I implore.
For the fact is I was napping when so gently you came rapping.
Now persistently you're tapping, tapping at my chamber door-
Ask your father dear to help you," then I listened at the door.
Silence there, and nothing more.

Deep into that silence hearing, long I lay there, nervous, fearing,
Doubting that the child had returned unto the lower floor.
But the silence was unbroken and the quiet gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was when I whispered "Good, no more!"
This I whispered and an echo murmured back "no more!"
Then I again lay down to snore.

Back into my slumber turning, my aching back so sorely burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely said I, "surely, that cannot be a child,
Not a toddler running wild- but perhaps I should explore.
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore.
'Tis the wind, and nothing more."

Open here I flung the door and there sitting on the floor
I saw my daughter just where she had been before.
Not the least obeisance made she, not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But with mien of lord or lady stepped right though my chamber door,
Then perched upon my bed, her feet swinging o'er the floor
She reached a sippy cup out before.

Then this stubborn child beguiling my weary fancy into smiling
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore,
"Though I sent you to your father, me you seem to want to bother,
Silly child, wandering upward from the lower floor-
Tell me why you've come to get me up from the lower floor."
Quoth the toddler, "I want more!"

Much I marveled that my daughter could not ask this of her father.
Her petition was so simple- could not daddy get her more?
For we cannot help agreeing that any living human being
Blessed with two working hands could open the refrigerator door
And into the sippy cup some chocolate milk could pour
And give the little girl some more.

But the child sitting lonely on the king-sized bed spoke only
That one phrase and her eyes, they did implore.
Nothing further then she uttered and so I sighed and muttered,
"All right, dearest, let's go to the lower floors.
Come with me down the stairs as you have often done before,
And I your weary mother shall go and get you more."

Down the stairs we came and I called my husband's name,
Inquiring the reason why he could not get her more.
"Only mommy's chocolate milk would do," he sighed, "though quite ardently I tried-
Tried to keep her from your chamber door.
But now perhaps she'll leave your door,
Since you now have got her more."

The thought of napping now beguiling my exhausted self to smiling,
Straight I wheeled and darted up to the second floor.
Then upon the soft bed sinking, I gratefully fell to thinking
Of the deep and blissful rest that so surely lay before.
Sure that now there would be quiet outside my chamber door,
And no toddlers wanting more.

I set myself to sleeping, but a moment later felt like weeping
From the depths of tired, achy, pregnant core.
For as I lay reclining, noise I began divining,
Once again a gentle padding coming from the lower floor-
Once again a toddler's footsteps just outside my chamber door.
"No," I thought, "Oh please, no more."

And then there was a rapping, once again a little tapping,
And a child's voice came drifting through the closed-up bedroom door.
"Mommy," it cried, "You listening? My favorite car is missing!
I was playing in the living room, now I can't find it anymore!
Come help me find my car, so I can play with it some more,"
Quoth the child at my door.

"Child," groaned I, "ask your father, it is him that you should bother
To help you find your missing car."
But my son was quite undaunted, it was mommy that he wanted,
So as he stood upon the landing he did once again implore,
"Daddy looked and couldn't find it, I need you to look some more,"
Quoth the child at my door.

I with a sigh arose, putting off once more my doze
And stepping 'cross the bedroom, I then opened up the door.
My soul with exhaustion laden, I went down to give my aid in 
What would no doubt be a long and very frustrating chore.
So I went and again descended unto the lower floor,
With the child at my door.

Two hours after starting, as couch cushions I was parting,
And my back and knees were aching as they never had before-
There, hidden in the pillows, stuck to some old marshmallows,
What should I see there lying, but the sought-after matchbox car.
But my son just looked up shrugging from his place upon the floor-
"Oh, I don't want that anymore."

As I stood there disbelieving, there came a sudden rush of feeling,
Flooding down upon me as it seldom had before.
And as my soul rebelled, "That's enough!" I loudly yelled.
"I'm going up to nap, so bother me no more!"
Then I remembered something as I went to the second floor-
And with my soundproof headphones, there were no noises anymore.

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