Friday, August 31, 2012

Literary Collaborations That (Un)Fortunately Never Took Place

Peanut butter and jelly. Popcorn and a movie. Bacon and...well, everything. Some things are just better together. The same goes in the artistic realm. What would Gilbert have been without Sullivan? Would we remember Rodgers without Hammerstein? What if Fred had had no Ginger?

This isn't always the case, though. There are many cases where, had collaboration taken place, instead of getting a timeless masterpiece, we would have gotten something very different indeed. Cases like these:

Aeneas of Green Gables
by Virgil and L.M. Montgomery

The quaint Canadian town of Avonlea is turned upside down by the arrival of loveable but accident-prone Aeneas, an orphaned Trojan prince. However, things take a darker turn when vengeful goddess Juno stirs up trouble between Aeneas and local hotshot Gilbert Blythe. Soon, the province of Prince Edward Island finds itself locked in an epic battle for sovereignty, culminating in a dramatic single combat between Aeneas and Gilbert.

The Interpretation of Midsummer Night's Dreams
by William Shakespeare and Dr. Sigmund Freud

Following a bewildering nighttime adventure in the woods, four young Athenians seek out the help of Dr. Freud in making sense of their experience. With the help of the Austrian psychoanalyst, the youths probe the depths of their subconscious, allowing Demetrius to work through the abandonment issues that caused his fear of commitment, while Lysander confronts his Oedipal demons, and Hermia and Helena resolve their problems of penis envy and suppressed homoerotic desires.

Common Sense and Sensibility
by Thomas Paine and Jane Austen

Left nearly penniless after the death of their father, sisters Elinor and Marianne Dashwood resolve to speak out against the unjust legal system of which they are victims. Erecting a printing press in their cellar, the girls set about printing and distributing anti-monarchical pamphlets, taking care to do so anonymously. However, complications arise when each girl finds herself romantically attracted to a member of the Establishment. Will their love interests prove enlightened enough to accept the girls' identities as political pot-stirrers? Or will their revolutionary activities doom them to lives of spinsterhood?

Good Night, New Moon
by Stephenie Meyer and Margaret Wise Brown

Sparkly, brooding vampire Edward Cullen watches obsessively every night for months, as boring teenager Bella Swann bids a fond goodnight to the objects in her room in this charmingly disturbing children's bedtime story.

Fifty Shades of Green Eggs and Ham
by Dr. Seuss and E.L. James

Innocent young college student Anastasia Steele is both excited and anxious when she attracts the attention of charming billionaire Sam Iam, CEO of WHO Industries. However, before they can be together, Sam places one condition on her- she must dine with him every day on a meal of green eggs and ham. Ana accepts and embarks on a romance with the rhyme-loving businessman. But their relationship grows strained as Sam's green eggs and ham demands grow ever stranger. First she must eat them in a house. Then, she must eat them with a mouse. Next, she must eat them on a boat. Each time Ana agrees. But when Sam makes his final demand- that she eat them with a goat- it may be more than she can take.

1 comment:

  1. Well, Ellie, Scott and I are simultaneously laughing hysterically as we read your blog aloud.